Wednesday, May 28, 2008

How do you respond...

when someone makes a racist comment? I'm not talking about on TV or overheard in the grocery store. I mean in a direct conversation with you and they say it like of course you would agree. I had that happen yesterday. I have noticed that since I married Dee, no one really says anything about blacks anymore. But that doesn't stop them from making really derogatory comments about Hispanics. I feel just as offended when I hear it. I don't have a relationship with anyone right now that is Hispanic, but I feel more sensitive to minorities in general since marrying Dee. It seems (in my unresearched opinion) that a lot of Southerners are conscious of racism against blacks and are more careful about their words. However, there is much freedom in comments against "Mexicans". Because that is the term used for ALL people of Hispanic origin. Dee has even told me that on the west coast, "Hispanic" is not really an accepted term, but you should say "Latino" instead. I have had several instances where people I know make very negative comments about them, saying that they are uneducated, dirty, don't take care of their children, and are here to "take over". AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! I want to confront it when I hear it, but I really don't know how to do it with a balance of firm clarity and gentleness. Do you ever deal with this?

Friday, May 23, 2008

Ever Been There?

Have you ever been in that place where you're the new one in the group? You feel awkward, don't really know what to say. You want someone to talk to you, but don't know what to talk about. Ok, ok, I'm talking about myself. Dee & I went to a community group for the first time at the church we've been attending for the last couple months. It really was good and we enjoyed it. They passed out paper and pens and asked everyone to write down a question or topic to discuss. It could be about anything. I could NOT think of anything to write. So I didn't. I know that sounds lame, but I couldn't get away from the thoughts in my head. What's this group like? How do they interact? Are there Christians or non-Christians? In that setting, I tend to get really quiet.

I hate that awkward feeling. But it's required to get to know new people, right?

Monday, May 19, 2008

Motherhood is a Distraction

Is this just a new mom thing or will it stay with me? Motherhood can be such a distraction to me. I know that sounds terrible like I don't want to be a mom or I'm not enjoying it. That's not the case at all. I LOVE being a mom and I really enjoy being with, teaching, playing with, and training Karis and I really look forward to more children being in the mix with us. But...I feel consumed with it at times. I don't feel nervous/anxious as when Karis was an infant, but much of my mental and emotional energy is wrapped up in being a mom.

It is a distraction from my relationship with the Lord. At the onset of my day, I am thinking about things to prepare and the reality of the hour in the context of our schedule. At the end of the day, I'm tired and trying to process what needs to be done for the next day. I have a really hard time at church lately. It takes me a while for my mind to slow down and stop working from what's happened that morning, how Karis is doing in the nursery (which is not too good lately) and keeping an eye on the screen to see if Karis' number comes up for me to come get her. When I do sit to read or think to pray, it's hard for my mind to settle.

Will it get better? Or is it just a discipline issue? I am so out of the habit of being with the Lord, I just feel rusty.