Is this just a new mom thing or will it stay with me? Motherhood can be such a distraction to me. I know that sounds terrible like I don't want to be a mom or I'm not enjoying it. That's not the case at all. I LOVE being a mom and I really enjoy being with, teaching, playing with, and training Karis and I really look forward to more children being in the mix with us. But...I feel consumed with it at times. I don't feel nervous/anxious as when Karis was an infant, but much of my mental and emotional energy is wrapped up in being a mom.
It is a distraction from my relationship with the Lord. At the onset of my day, I am thinking about things to prepare and the reality of the hour in the context of our schedule. At the end of the day, I'm tired and trying to process what needs to be done for the next day. I have a really hard time at church lately. It takes me a while for my mind to slow down and stop working from what's happened that morning, how Karis is doing in the nursery (which is not too good lately) and keeping an eye on the screen to see if Karis' number comes up for me to come get her. When I do sit to read or think to pray, it's hard for my mind to settle.
Will it get better? Or is it just a discipline issue? I am so out of the habit of being with the Lord, I just feel rusty.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Ahhhh yes....you are a mom!!! There are many seasons within motherhood....and one of them is being distracted. One thing that I highly recommend is just getting away for some quiet time while Dee takes care of Karis. I must say that I did enjoy being so caught up in being a mother, but one thing is true....don't forget that you need your time with the Lord first and foremost -- it will make your mothering even richer and Karis will definitely benefit from it. And second, don't forget you are a wife next. God graciously and mercifully blesses us with children....and they are truly a season in our lives! We have many responsibilities while we have them to love them and care for them and train them up, but we cannot forget the relationship that the Lord gave us with our husband....it is a relationship that will outlast our years with our children...because they grow up and grow into lives of their own. Oh, they will always be a part of our lives, but we are always to have the relationship with our husband....don't forget to nurture it well during the busy season of little one(s)!!! Each season is a treasure....but our greatest treasure is the one that the Lord has given us and places in these jars of clay (2 Cor 4). Without that relationship, none of the others will flourish. Don't get lost in the distractions, take time to bring right priorities and order to each day. May the Lord fill your days with grace as you learn how to manage all of these things!
I don't need to tell you how much I relate to you...just a short phone conversation where I forget everything I called to say can tell you that! Robin's comments were needed reminders. I know that on the sporadic days when I do spend some good time with the Lord it's when I've gotten up before Isaiah and then struggled with my brain the ENTIRE time to focus. It's really easy to beat myself down when I compare this season with times in college when I easily spent at least an hour most days with the Lord...but I guess He's well aware of all the distractions we struggle with since He (in wisdom I'll never understand) called us to do this in the first place. Mercies are new every morning. Thanks for your honesty!
Post a Comment