"...his own way..."

The Lord has been so good to meet me today in the midst of so much. It's actually small things, but a lot of them all at once - 38 weeks pregnant & the discomfort that goes along with that, long hours of insomnia the past few nights, a nasty cold & cough, the desire to get so many little things done before I go into labor, & a very challenging little girl today.

I took Tylenol PM last night so I could potentially sleep more & it didn't work at all. I still only slept total for about 4-5 hours. So, I got up not feeling rested, but tired and drugged. Dee has helped me so much this morning giving me more time to rest, but to no avail. I couldn't sleep but for about 30 minutes out of the 2 1/2 hours I tried.

I got up feeling very groggy and walked through my messy house & Karis was having a very hard time with her attitude towards me. It was a very conscious effort to not lose my temper with her after multiple, back-to-back moments of discipline and talks. Even after all of that, she was still challenging me and refusing to obey. I told her again what the expectation was and just sat quiet. It was obvious that more discipline or more talking was not going to change her heart. I sat down to eat lunch and she just stood there. After a few minutes of silence, she said "I want to obey Mommy." And she did. Her attitude and her words completely changed and we talked a little about how God had changed her heart.

Then as I ate lunch, I sat down to write my Scripture Memory verse on a card...
Isaiah 53:6
"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned - everyone - to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all."

I am just like my daughter. I want my own way. I turn from him. Sometimes, I just sit quietly, fighting my own sin, and wait for God to change me. God changes my heart, changes my attitude, changes my words.
It's my sin, my iniquity that was laid on Jesus.

Forgive me, Lord for fighting change so much after multiple moments of discipline from you. Help me to hear you in the quiet.